Here we are again, in New Zealand facing the second wave. And, although we’ve been told to brace for it, now that it’s here it’s still a shock for many of us. For many it’s back to the old uncertainty of the Covid rollercoaster of emotion.
Couple this with the pre-election political situation, which also involves two highly emotive referenda. Hmmm.
Here’s how I’m getting through right now, and believe me, I have to dig deep sometimes and put into practice many of the things I assist my own clients with.
Relax, nothing’s under control
Well, maybe not nothing, but there’s way more out of our control than within it. Get clear of the difference and try not to waste a jot of energy or headspace trying to solve the unsolvable. Focus on what you can control rather than its opposite. Yes it takes discipline. It also take focusing our attention and efforts on the right things.
The things you can control? Go guns blazing on those.
Getting Plan B in place – go for it. Taking charge of your wellbeing, absolutely. Getting a good handle on the language you’re using and the effect it’s having on you. Yep, that’s important and well within your control. Minimising your time around people who bring you down, cause you stress, and spread their fear-mongering around like a virus – that can only be a good thing. We all have to get through this as best we can.
Choose your response
I was honoured to be invited to speak to a group of young Pasifika leaders at a Christchurch high school last week on the topic of effective thinking and one of the key messages I gave them was that whilst we don’t always get to choose what happens to us – far from it – we always get to choose our response to what happens to us. This is something that it can be really useful for us to bear in mind as we go through these tough times. I like to see myself as a fighter. Maybe not every day and not all the time, but certainly I have made the conscious decision that where possible I will do my utmost to create or shape my outcomes. This means I need to take ownership and responsibility for the things that are within my ability to shape and act on those rather than unwittingly let myself fall victim to my circumstance.
Wallow by all means for a little while. In the theme of the All Right campaigns, it’s ok to take time to regroup.
And then, when you’re ready to pick yourself up and dust yourself off, if you want to be the “hero” in your own life story, this might be helpful:
Trust the experts
Get your information from reputable sources – excellent chef though he is, maybe Pete Evans doesn’t have the total low down on this pandemic…just saying.
Decide on your sources, make sure they are evidence-based and choose to believe the relevant experts in their field rather than allowing yourself to be sucked in by hype or hysteria.
Don’t go there
Internet conspiracies, echo chambers, online slanging matches, the ugly side of human behaviour. Stay away from bullies and don’t be one yourself.
Tempting as it can be to speak your truth in loud tones, you’ve got to ask yourself what is the point? Where does stirring get you? Have you ever truly succeeded in converting someone with an entrenched position over to your side of the fence? What’s the point in even trying, especially when we’re all a wee bit (or a lot) hair trigger in the emotions department right now.
And, do you really need to become an expert (yeah right) epidemiologist or wade in to areas wayyy beyond your expertise? Do you really need to gather all the information? How much do you need to know to be able to act? Not that much, I don’t reckon. We all know it’s a crap situation, now let’s turn our attention to how to deal with it as best we can.
Be kind… to yourself
Do what you can to reduce your own stress levels. It will pay dividends for yourself and those around you – particularly important if you have kids. They totally feed off your emotions so if you’re angry and frustrated, they’ll be the same. If you’re afraid and anxious, so will they be. We can’t hide this stuff from them, they are just too clever, so take a fast walk around the block, have a rant or cry with a like-minded friend out of earshot of the kids or go chop some wood to let off steam if you need to. Everyone will thank you for it.