Veering slightly off-topic from my usual personal and professional development focus, I think it’s important to be aware of the potentially stressful impact that Christmas and the holiday season can have on your wellbeing.  This post explores some of the more practical “nuts and bolts” suggestions for making it through the holiday season as enjoyably as possible whilst preserving your overall wellbeing.

Regardless of your belief system, in New Zealand the end of year/Christmas/new year/holiday season can be a challenge, so how to make your way through it with your sanity and dignity intact?

Here are a few of my ideas…

Take stock

When you’re trying to be “all things to all people” life can become very stressful. …And just think of all the categories you might have to deal with at this time of year:

  • Work – deadlines before things shut down and people go on extended breaks
  • Work-related and other social engagements/parties/get togethers
  • Family – sometimes multiple, almost always complex and potentially riddled with communication challenges, competing priorities and conflict
  • Friends – why do we feel the need to see everyone we know in a short space of time?
  • Kids – school stuff, concerts, performances, end of year parties
  • Extra admin and planning to have some down time/holiday/travel
  • Extra shopping
  • Financial pressure
  • For some, loneliness, isolation, missing loved ones

That’s a whole lot of potential pressure right there!

 

So how do I suggest dealing with the pressures?

…to steal from Stephen Covey (7 Habits of Highly Effective People – sorry, can’t help myself!):

“Organise and execute around balanced priorities”

Ask yourself:

 

WHAT MUST BE DONE?

By when? Consider whether the deadline is genuinely necessary or a “nice to have”.

Is doing it necessary?

Can any of it be deferred until later?  If not, why not?

 

DOES IT ALL HAVE TO BE “PERFECT”, REALLY? AND AT WHAT COST?

I’ve had to make a big adjustment about this myself.  I used to want everything to be “just right” – but I’ve really had to relax my standards and focus on the priorities, which for me always comes back to spending time with people who are precious to me.

Because of this, I’ve learned to really embrace “keeping it real”.  You can do this by asking yourself questions like:

Is getting together with people more important than the food/gifts (and everything else) being perfect?

Is it worth putting yourself under severe financial pressure for several months in order to buy expensive/unnecessary presents?  And if you do have the money – would it be better spent (and enjoyed more) on something else?

With work – If you can’t have it all or do it all, what are the top priorities? If there’s too much work to be done in the timeframe, then you’ll either need to clarify the priorities and schedule the rest for later, or you’ll have to do everything to a “good enough” standard, and maybe revisit later to make improvements.

 

DO I HAVE TO BE THE ONE TO DO IT ALL?

Or, can the load be shared?

If so, who by?

How and when can I ask for help? This might be a challenge if you are used to doing it all yourself and/or everyone else (always) expects you to!  You might have to relinquish your desire to have everything done perfectly according to your standards and you might have to shake up the traditional order if you want others to start helping.

So how do you work this through with friends and family?  As with pretty much every other human interaction – proactive, timely, honest, assertive communication. We’ll talk more about that in my next blog when we’ll deal with relationship and communication challenges during the christmas period.

 

I’M FEELING TIRED AND STRUNG OUT – WHAT DO I ABOUT THAT?

When you’re particularly busy or under pressure, it’s easy to neglect your wellbeing building blocks, which has the effect of making everything worse. Getting enough sleep, good food and exercise is always important, yet it’s so easy to let this go – don’t!  Make time for the things that nurture and rejuvenate you.  Your body and mind (as well as everyone around you) will thank you for it.

Exercise is a great stress-reliever so it’s even more important to keep this up during the “silly season”. If you can’t stick to your normal exercise routine, alter or reduce it, but keep at it. If you let it go it’s too easy to let things slide altogether and you’ll find it harder to pick it up again from scratch.

 

Potential pitfalls and how to overcome them

Lack of planning/organisation – leaving everything until the last minute

This used to be me – the classic christmas eve shopper!  Now that I’m a grown-up, I’m way too busy juggling to be able to do this.

Starting early, writing lists, prioritising, communicating, delegating and budgeting will ease the pressure.

 

Lack of sleep

Where possible try not to overschedule yourself and rest when you can. You might even have to turn down the odd invitation or bow out of some of those pre-christmas activities. Really.

 

Food issues

Running on adrenalin can make you reach for the coffee and grab food on the go, or forget to eat and end up eating food that makes you feel less than awesome, which will compound your tiredness, bad mood and feeling of stress. Make time to eat properly – starting with breakfast. If you have trouble moderating what you eat (and you feel that’s a problem for you) eat some “proper” nutritious food before you go out.

 

Alcohol

Both during an event or gathering and over a period time, too much booze can take its toll. Have some down days. Drink plenty of water. If you know that drinking brings out the worst in you, making your temper flare and causing you to speak your mind without any thought for the consequences, come back to your top priority, which is likely to be fun, socialising and relaxation rather than fireworks, drama and having to clean up the damage afterwards.

 

Financial pressure

It might sound self-evident, but again I would urge coming back to priorities. Is it really worth living beyond your means or maxing out your credit card for a day of excess that you’ll be paying for for months to come?

Do you/the kids really need more stuff?  Are there other ways to show your love, care and appreciation?

Can the financial burdens be shared with other family members or friends?

Another option (although too late for this year) is to set aside some money each month during the year to pay for christmas expenses.

Or, maybe you could consider taking an extra job in the lead up to christmas, specifically to help you cover extra costs.

 

Next time we’ll talk about how to handle some of the more social and emotional challenges during this busy season.